It should come as no surprise to me that [E] lives his life on and around soap boxes. As an owner/operator of two dry cleaning and laundry services, you can only image the amount of soap that he buys (we often get funny looks at Sam's Club when we have a flat bed cart full of soap...however we give funny looks to the lady that has a flat bed cart full of Pepsi and ketchup...maybe we should stop giving funny looks if we don't want to receive them ourselves).
But that is not the only place that [E] finds soap in his life. He stands on a soap box for a good portion of the day. Whether we are at home reading the Internet, walking through a public place, sitting in a restaurant or driving (standing on a soap box while driving is fairly impressive), [E] has his soap box packed and ready to go. His favorite topics of soaping: motorcycles (of course), politics and guns. What are my three least favorite subjects to talk about and/or have a soapy lecture of assumed knowledge on???? Oh yeah, that's right: motorcycles, politics and guns. I am sure that there are topics that I talk about that make [E] crazy. He might even think that I have my own soap box (although I really doubt it; I am a very rational, thoughtful person that doesn't get all hyped up on topics, especially not the topics that he goes nuts over). But really, [E] really takes the cake when it comes to his soap box discussions.
Examples: One--Last night we were watching a movie (The Mechanic--an alright movie; one that we can both watch without too many soapy incidents) and he just about woke [A] up with his screaming and carrying on about a particular gun used in the movie. In another scene, there is a gun hidden in the sofa, so [E] has to have a running conversation about why that is not a good idea for us since we have a family. Duh! Why do I have to listen to why we shouldn't have a gun hidden in the sofa while missing serious plot information in the movie for something that is truly a no brainer??? Oh my, [E]. The best is when he is finished ranting and has missed vital plot information, he asks me what just happened! How should I know?! I missed it, too.
Two--When Donald Trump was making so much commotion over President Obama's birth certificate, I stated what an idiot Trump was. [E] immediately pulled out his soap box, not yet dusty from the last outburst, to rant and rave about how the republicans have conjured Trump to be a conspiracy theory. All I said was the Trump was an idiot, I did not ask for a wild recount of how Trump was invented by the republican party to steer the presidential election (and to be perfectly honest, I stopped listening once he said "conspiracy theory." Wouldn't you?).
Three--I have yet to go into detail on motorcycles. This probably has to do with the fact that my eyes and ears completely gloss over at the mere mention of the word anymore. But there is a small memory from the other day driving in the car and having to "listen" to a monologue about the history of his motorcycle against the motorcycle some crackhead bought next to Fibercare. Needless to say, I am glazing over right now trying to recall what he said, so we will leave it at that.
No comments:
Post a Comment