[A] is at the all truth telling age of 3. Nothing gets by her without a spoken comment. Although this can be pretty cute, but it is also terribly embarrassing. Example, [A] is fascinated by public bathrooms (much to my horror), so you can only imagine what she says..."The lady next to us is poopin'," in her loudest, clearest voice. Or upon another patron exiting the stall, "What's that smell?!" followed by intense gagging sounds and actions. So, leave it to [A] for the truth to be told.
For the last several years I have told [E] that he snores relentlessly at night. He does not believe me and will not address the situation until I have documented proof, i.e. video (but in this day and age, who would ever bring a video camera into their bedroom? What if it is distributed on the Internet? Oh, excuse me, my video would probably not be a hot selling item since I am nothing special in the eyes of the media). However, I believe that even with proof he will not address his log sawing vibrations through the night saying that I doctored the tape with all of my photoshop abilities (little does he know that photoshop cannot doctor video, but that is besides the point). In an attempt to get [A] to sleep in her own bed, we often take turns putting her to bed. [E] has the habit of falling asleep in her bed as he tries to consul her into sleeping. Once he is asleep and letting his nostrils, mouth and throat begin their nightly roaring, [A] yells to me from her bed that her daddy is snoring and that she can't possibly go to sleep. I tell her to wake her daddy up, so she does, retelling her story of distress over his loud snoring and he replies, "I don't snore. Did your mom make you say that?"
Another truth telling episode from [A] concerns [E]'s cheeks and his motorcycle helmet. I'm sure that in an effort to be as safe as possible, the helmet must fit snugly around your head. In doing so, though, it pushes [E]'s cheeks up under his eyes and against his nose giving him the most chipmunk-y face you can imagine. This does not go past [A]'s careful observations of the morning, saying "Daddy, your cheeks are chubby!" and then wants to pinch them. This makes [E] terribly annoyed and embarrassed, leaving for work in a huff.
Although it might seem that I am picking on [E], it is just too funny to pass up. If he would only acknowledge that he snores and has developed chubby cheeks under his motorcycle helmet, I would probably let it go. But since he admittedly refuses to believe us, I have to keep bringing it up in order to remind him of the truth. And now, I have [A] to help.
In an effort not to be seen as a bully towards [E], I will share a "truth teller" from [A] in regards to me. [A] loves music. All music. From "The Farmer and the Dell" to "Body Rocking." The song "Bottom's Up" was on the radio and when Nicki Minaj raps in the middle and references her body, [A] says, "This song is not about my body, its about my bottom. Mom, I have a little bottom. You have a HUGE bottom." So, yet again, she tells it just like she sees it with no society pleasing white lies.
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